Happiness is a tricky thing. One day you are sitting with a person, sipping coffee, giggles and laughter reverberating around you. The next thing you know is you sitting alone, looking at that empty seat next to you. Your hand wanting to be held, your lips wanting to feel the curve. Things change so quickly, happy days even if for years feel like a few minutes but the sad moments are the ones which never leave. It feels like a race where happy moments are the rabbit and the sad ones are tortoise, taking its time to leave. Slowly and gradually trying to win the race, and losing ourselves eventually.
Happiness is overwhelming. It is overwhelming when somewhere inside, you already knew that it is temporary. You knew that nothing lasts, but you decided to not think too much and be in the moment. But somewhere at the back of your head, you were dreading each and every happy moment. You had your guard down, even when you knew that you are slowly getting poisoned. The strong side in your head tried to aware you of the danger, of the risk. But your heart wanting to take a million risks, just for that temporary smile. And that every moment slowly ate you within, and today you are just living, reminiscing those days. Those temporary days, the happy face that took everything from you.
Happiness is a tricky thing. It is like a dream that makes you want to stay. But one day when you open your eyes, you realize that it was just an illusion.
But somewhere we all are warriors, fighting our own battles. With a smile pasted on our face we get up everyday even while crying a river inside. We get up so that nobody knows that we are broken inside. We don’t let anyone know that we are still waiting for those days to come back. That even when we are looking ahead, our eyes still keep secretly looking at that empty seat. We get up to survive, to stay alive in this world. To keep going and trying to learn how to not look back; until we accidently enter another illusion. And the trick continues, and the life goes on.
Today I realized the difference between reality and my happy dream. And it is killing me inside. I don’t know if I will be able to come out strong. I don’t know if I will survive this. Let us think of a moment when we just wanted to live in the moment. Even when we knew that it will hurt more when it ends, we decided to stay. To let the feeling of being happy slowly taking over our body and soul. And when that illusion ended, when those days were over. How did you get up again? How did you start laughing again? Or maybe you never did; then how did you survive again?
Imperfections 